Тимур Шаов - Большой невроз
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Какой мы трепетный народ –
Воспринимаем всё всерьёз,
Манера скверная у нас
По пустякам впадать в невроз.
Вот у писателя Петра
Глубокий творческий застой,
А всё невроз от осознания,
Что он хуже, чем Толстой.
Вот математик Николай
Решал какой-то интеграл,
Три дня решал и не решил,
Посуду бил и так орал!
Большой невроз.
На священнике Кирилле
Третий год как нет лица.
Но зато есть ощущение
Вселенского конца,
Что вокруг секуляризм,
Сатания и психоз –
У него развился
Эсхатологический невроз.
Атеистам тоже плохо –
Разнеслась такая весть,
Что грешить теперь опасно,
Бог, оказывается, есть.
Большой невроз.
На горе колхоз,
Под горой совхоз,
У тебя невроз,
У меня невроз.
За стеной стучат,
За спиной кричат,
Слева – инвалид,
Справа – психопат.
Только ляжешь спать,
Тут вставать пора,
Но как же можно быть спокойным
В понедельник в семь утра?
Большой невроз.
Население в неврозе,
В подмосковном Клину
Тракторист Иван Степанов
Укусил за нос жену.
На суде в последнем слове
Он тревожно произнёс:
– Отойдите, покусаю,
У меня теперь невроз.
Прокурор просил полгода,
А судья дал двадцать пять.
У судьи ни к чёрту нервы,
Мог и на фиг расстрелять.
Большой невроз.
У светской львицы две левретки
Отравились фуа гра,
Они в дерьме, она в истерике,
В неврозе повара.
А у бандита Алексея
Дал осечку пистолет,
Он написал статью в журнал
На тему «В жизни счастья нет».
Вот психоаналитик Виктор
Тьму народа излечил,
Больные так мотали нервы –
Взял одного и замочил.
Большой невроз.
Раздражает день,
Раздражает ночь –
И ложиться лень,
И вставать невмочь.
Инвалид стучит,
Психопат кричит,
Во дворе Полкан
Тоже не молчит.
И долги растут,
И кровать скрипит,
И вообще, когда в Руанде
Прекратиться геноцид?!
Большой невроз.
Мы не шведы, не голландцы,
И невроз у нас иной,
Мы народ пассионарный,
В смысле – очень уж дурной:
То княжну швырнём с досады
В набежавшую волну,
То пожар Москвы устроим,
То гражданскую войну.
Так нельзя. Вы что, в натуре,
Спрячьте пули и картечь.
Я, в натуре, о культуре –
Нервы надобно беречь.
Большой невроз.
Когда вам ушлый официант
Вчерашний ростбиф принесёт
И разольёт на стол вино,
И скатерть вам поставит в счёт,
Не надо ножками сучить,
Кричать об этих пустяках –
Конечно, надо заплатить.
Вообще – держать себя в руках.
Но как приятно тихо встать,
С улыбкою сказать «Пардон!»,
По люстре стулом садануть
И просветлённым выйти вон.
Большой невроз.
На горе колхоз,
Под горой совхоз,
У тебя невроз,
У меня невроз.
Раззудись плечо,
Размахнись рука,
Пошумим ещё,
Побузим слегка.
Как продрал глаза,
Так прощай покой,
А я люблю свои неврозы –
Ух, я бешеный какой!
Большой невроз.
Большой невроз.
Большой невроз.
Большой невроз.
What a reverent people are we -
We perceive everything seriously,
Owl manner with us
For trifles to fall into a neurosis.
Here is the writer Peter
Deep creative stagnation,
And all the neurosis from awareness,
That he is worse than Tolstoy.
Here is the mathematician Nikolai
I decided some integral
He decided and did not decide for three days
He beat the dishes and so yelled!
Big neurosis.
On the priest Cyril
The third year is not a face.
But there is a feeling
Ecumenical end
What is around secularism,
Satania and psychosis -
He developed
Eschatological neurosis.
Atheists are also bad -
Such a news spread
That sinning is now dangerous
God, it turns out, is.
Big neurosis.
On the mountain collective farm,
Under the mountain state farm,
You have a neurosis
I have a neurosis.
They knock behind the wall,
They scream behind their backs
On the left - disabled person,
On the right is a psychopath.
You just go to bed
It's time to get up here
But how can you be calm
On Monday at seven in the morning?
Big neurosis.
The population in neurosis,
In Klin near Moscow
Tractorist Ivan Stepanov
He bit his wife's nose.
In court in the last word
He said anxiously:
- step back, I bit
I have a neurosis now.
The prosecutor asked for six months
And the judge gave twenty -five.
The judge has no to hell with a nerves
Could shoot at FIG.
Big neurosis.
The secular lioness has two leverse
Fois Gra was poisoned,
They are in shit, she is hysterical,
In the neurosis of the cook.
And the bandit Alexei
Gave an outbreak of a gun,
He wrote an article in the magazine
On the topic "There is no happiness in life."
Here is a psychoanalyst Victor
The darkness of the people cured,
Patients so shook nerves -
I took one and soaked it.
Big neurosis.
Annoying the day
Annoying the night -
And laziness laziness
And get up to the ground.
Disabled person knocks
The psychopath shouts
In the courtyard Polkan
Also not silent.
And debts are growing
And the bed creaks,
And in general, when in Rwanda
Stop genocide?!
Big neurosis.
We are not the Swedes, not the Dutch,
And we have a different neurosis,
We are passionar people
I mean - very bad:
Then we will throw the princess from annoyance
Into the run -up wave
Then we will arrange a fire of Moscow,
That civil war.
You can not do it this way. What are you in kind,
Hide bullets and buckshot.
I, in kind, about culture -
The nerves must be protected.
Big neurosis.
When you are a cunning waiter
Yesterday Rostbif will bring
And it will spill wine on the table,
And the tablecloth will put you in the account,
No need to knit legs,
Shouting about these trifles -
Of course, you have to pay.
In general - to control yourself.
But how nice it is to get up quietly
With a smile to say "sorry!",
To sit on a chair with a chair
And enlightened to go out.
Big neurosis.
On the mountain collective farm,
Under the mountain state farm,
You have a neurosis
I have a neurosis.
Take your shoulder
Rub your hand,
We’ll joke more
We bit a little.
How to tear his eyes
So goodbye peace
And I love my neuroses -
Wow, I'm frantic!
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
We perceive everything seriously,
Owl manner with us
For trifles to fall into a neurosis.
Here is the writer Peter
Deep creative stagnation,
And all the neurosis from awareness,
That he is worse than Tolstoy.
Here is the mathematician Nikolai
I decided some integral
He decided and did not decide for three days
He beat the dishes and so yelled!
Big neurosis.
On the priest Cyril
The third year is not a face.
But there is a feeling
Ecumenical end
What is around secularism,
Satania and psychosis -
He developed
Eschatological neurosis.
Atheists are also bad -
Such a news spread
That sinning is now dangerous
God, it turns out, is.
Big neurosis.
On the mountain collective farm,
Under the mountain state farm,
You have a neurosis
I have a neurosis.
They knock behind the wall,
They scream behind their backs
On the left - disabled person,
On the right is a psychopath.
You just go to bed
It's time to get up here
But how can you be calm
On Monday at seven in the morning?
Big neurosis.
The population in neurosis,
In Klin near Moscow
Tractorist Ivan Stepanov
He bit his wife's nose.
In court in the last word
He said anxiously:
- step back, I bit
I have a neurosis now.
The prosecutor asked for six months
And the judge gave twenty -five.
The judge has no to hell with a nerves
Could shoot at FIG.
Big neurosis.
The secular lioness has two leverse
Fois Gra was poisoned,
They are in shit, she is hysterical,
In the neurosis of the cook.
And the bandit Alexei
Gave an outbreak of a gun,
He wrote an article in the magazine
On the topic "There is no happiness in life."
Here is a psychoanalyst Victor
The darkness of the people cured,
Patients so shook nerves -
I took one and soaked it.
Big neurosis.
Annoying the day
Annoying the night -
And laziness laziness
And get up to the ground.
Disabled person knocks
The psychopath shouts
In the courtyard Polkan
Also not silent.
And debts are growing
And the bed creaks,
And in general, when in Rwanda
Stop genocide?!
Big neurosis.
We are not the Swedes, not the Dutch,
And we have a different neurosis,
We are passionar people
I mean - very bad:
Then we will throw the princess from annoyance
Into the run -up wave
Then we will arrange a fire of Moscow,
That civil war.
You can not do it this way. What are you in kind,
Hide bullets and buckshot.
I, in kind, about culture -
The nerves must be protected.
Big neurosis.
When you are a cunning waiter
Yesterday Rostbif will bring
And it will spill wine on the table,
And the tablecloth will put you in the account,
No need to knit legs,
Shouting about these trifles -
Of course, you have to pay.
In general - to control yourself.
But how nice it is to get up quietly
With a smile to say "sorry!",
To sit on a chair with a chair
And enlightened to go out.
Big neurosis.
On the mountain collective farm,
Under the mountain state farm,
You have a neurosis
I have a neurosis.
Take your shoulder
Rub your hand,
We’ll joke more
We bit a little.
How to tear his eyes
So goodbye peace
And I love my neuroses -
Wow, I'm frantic!
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
Big neurosis.
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