Фрэнки - Шоу - Энди Кауфман
текст песни

So, my dear ones, of course, my previous antics shocked some of you, but not those who know how to drink coffee, right? And now, as you can see, the famous Milos Forman is already sitting at one of my performances, who is already on fire with the passionate idea to make a film about me!, and this film, as you know, will definitely appear on the screens, but only in 99, through 16 years after my death... In the meantime, on the calendar December 11, 1983, and the doctors are already giving me a ridiculous diagnosis that does not fit into my perception of life at all: a rare form of lung cancer! And it's so strange, agree? - some kind of form of some kind of ridiculous cancer there! And what do you think, what is the first thought that flashes in my head while listening to this sentence? And this is really a question for filling ... the first thought - you won’t believe it - how can I make fun of all this ?, turn it into a show, into a holiday, into a spectacle! Hehe… /////////////////// Thank you, my dear, as always very timely… And here, sitting opposite Bob and George, with a green, and crumbling face right before our eyes , I'm already saying that this time I'm not laughing. And that neither chemotherapy, nor meditation, nor energy crystals help me anymore! They are poking at newspaper articles, from which the ubiquitous Tony Clifton is grinning, who suddenly resurrected and is gaining a simply monstrous rating! And I, of course, promise them to reveal this secret, in exchange for organizing my last, and the most farewell show ever! And now, my dears, I am already standing on the stage of Carnegie Hall, as usual, as if with a magic wand, kneading the dough of human emotions, and forcing the audience to experience everything: from numbness and mortal fear, to explosions of unbridled laughter! Around me revolve, as you can see, the stars of the corps de ballet, and the Mormon choir, chanting "Hallelujah!" and Santa Claus himself is already descending from heaven directly onto the crazy hall! The ubiquitous TONY is also here, and in his boorish manner is already hooking me on the hooks of his vulgar jokes!, he wheezes that a holy place cannot be empty! I, with eyes sparkling with tears, announce to the whole country that in exactly 20 years, I will definitely return!, and the hall is already exploding with a flurry of applause, as you can see! And now, silent, and as if fashioned from wax, I am already lying in an open coffin ... And half the world is already looking at the TV screen, from which my head sadly says: “Ladies and gentlemen, lady and gentleman, no matter how hard you try not to notice this, around you is 100 percent GOOD WORLD! A world ruled by love, and not fame and money at all, but in order to understand this simple truth, one must die for some reason ... And it has always been, is and, most likely, will be - people begin to really love you, only then when you're gone!" And the eyes of all the inhabitants of the world looking at the screen are already running down their cheeks, as you can see ... And after a sad pause, like a lump in the throat, like a true master, I exclaim with a smile - hey you idiots, wake up! If you could only see yourself now from the outside, you would die with laughter! Ha ha ... So, my dears, - the most revolutionary comedian in world history, and to some extent - the absolute hero of our time! The most evil jester, under the king who never existed!, the party in honor of the day of whose death, in 2004, is already opened, as you see, by none other than TONY CLIFTON himself, alive and triumphant! And everyone who sees his appearance on stage, the hair is already moving on their heads! Even if those heads are bald! And the question is - how the hell HE STILL DOES THIS? - is already crucifying the brain of the five thousandth auditorium! And they again feel, as you can see, this is the most that there is - an explosive beating of a living spasm in the stomach, so uncontrollably jumping out of the throat in the form of uncontrollable laughter! And their hands involuntarily rise, as you see, to recash the most LIVE APPLAUSE on the stage! Hehe... And you know what I'll tell you at the very end, my dear? - I will say that in my 35 years of life, I, of course, did not have time to enjoy what I actually did! At first, like so many in this business, I thought the most important thing was to teach people how to laugh! then I thought that the most important thing is to teach them to cry! then it seemed to me that crying and laughing at the same time was even cooler! and now I think that it’s not at all what a person succeeded or failed to do that determines his place in history !, it’s not at all what he was good or bad !, evil or good !, how many people he helped, and what he left, or left behind! – The thing is, how uncontrollably his laughter spilled out into the world, at the moment when the strong hand of God squeezed him in a thirst for a spectacle! Do you understand? In the same way, the juice of the pomegranate shoots out, leaving red stains on our shirts of the spectators, and stains that cannot be washed off with any powder! Hehe... Do you understand? And many, of course, it seems that it would be better if this did not happen at all! Although, there are those who will have, and there cannot but be other versions on this matter ... SHOW TIME!