Heathers - The Me Inside Of Me
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J.D. [Spoken]
Think. Long and hard. Conjure her up in your mind. What would she say?
What is her final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?
VERONICA
(Writing) "Dear world...
Believe it or not, I knew about fear;
I knew the way loneliness stung.
I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes;
I learned to kiss boys with my tongue."
J.D.
That's good.
VERONICA
"But oh, the world, it held me down;
it weighed like a concrete prom queen crown."
(Dead Heather Chandler sits up. Only Veronica sees her)
HEATHER CHANDLER
No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.
No one gets her insecurity.
I am more than shoulder pads and makeup.
No one sees the me inside of me.
[Spoken] Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply.
J.D.
Keep going. This has to be good enough to fool the cops.
(Two Policemen, McCord and Milner, investigate the crime scene)
MCCORD
Whoa! Is it murder?
MILNER
No, look. Here's a suicide note.
VERONICA, HEATHER, COPS
"They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique,
They wouldn't dare look in my eyes.
But just underneath was a terrified girl
who clings to her pillow and cries!
My looks were just like prison bars;
they've left me a myriad of scars."
HEATHER CHANDLER
"Myriad." Nice.
(The COPS hand the suicide note to Principal Gowan)
VERONICA, HEATHER, COPS
"No one thinks a pretty girl has substance. That's the curse of popularity."
(Gowan reads the note aloud)
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
"I am more than just a source of handjobs."
VERONICA, HEATHER, GOWAN, COPS
"No one sees the me inside of me."
(The COPS exit. GOWAN joins FLEMING, RIPPER and some FACULTY)
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
[Spoken] Heather Chandler is not your everyday suicide.
COACH RIPPER
You should cancel classes.
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
No way, Coach.
I send the kids home before lunch and the switchboard'll light up like a Christmas tree.
MS. FLEMING
Out children are dying.
I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria and just talk. And feel. Together.
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
Thank you, Ms. Fleming. Call me when the shuttle lands.
MS. FLEMING
I'm telling you we all misjudged Heather Chandler.
This is the loveliest suicide not I've ever read.
MS. FLEMING & HEATHER CHANDLER
"Box up my clothing for Goodwill,
and give the poor my Nordic Track.
Donate my car to crippled kids,
or to those ghetto moms on crack.
Give them my hats and my CDs,
my pumps and my flats, my three TVs!"
HEATHER CHANDLER, FACULTY
"No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings;
but I weep for all I failed to be.
Maybe I can help the world by leaving;
Maybe that the me inside of me."
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
Aw, hell. Long weekend for everybody!
(Teachers cheer, as do arriving students)
MS. FLEMING
Not so fast, kids. They're refueling the buses, which gives us a solid half-hour of healing.
I've mimeographed copies of the suicide note so you can feel Heather's anguish.
HEATHER MCNAMARA
I never knew about her pain.
MS. FLEMING
Go on!
HIPSTER DORK
Her life had hit a rocky patch.
MS. FLEMING
Feel!
YOUNG REPUBLICANETTE
Deep down she wasn't cruel or vain -
MS. FLEMING
Heal!
KIDS
She didn't mean to be such a snatch!
MS. FLEMING
Veronica, you're very quiet. What's on your mind.
VERONICA
Uh, maybe Heather realized that in order to be happy she had to give up her power.
And the only way to do that was... death.
MS. FLEMING
My God.
Look what we've done.
We're breaking through!
Heather would be so proud of you!
KIDS
And you! And you! And you! And you!
EVERYBODY
No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you...
NEW WAVE GIRL
Heather touching me...
EVERYBODY
But she's made us better than we were.
Heather's dead, but she will live inside me, and I'll be the me inside of her...
HEATHER CHANDLER
Holy crap! This is awesome!
EVERYBODY
Heather cried, our sins fell on her shoulders!
HEATHER CHANDLER
Jesus Christ!
EVERYBODY
Heather died, so we could all be free!
HEATHER CHANDLER
I'm bigger than John Lennon!
KIDS
(Variously)
Heather's gone, but she will live forever!
She's the dove that sings outside my window!
She's the twin from whom
I'm separated!
She's the horse I never got for Christmas!
EVERYBODY
Heather sees the me inside of me!
Heather is the me inside of me!
Inside of... me!
Think. Long and hard. Conjure her up in your mind. What would she say?
What is her final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?
VERONICA
(Writing) "Dear world...
Believe it or not, I knew about fear;
I knew the way loneliness stung.
I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes;
I learned to kiss boys with my tongue."
J.D.
That's good.
VERONICA
"But oh, the world, it held me down;
it weighed like a concrete prom queen crown."
(Dead Heather Chandler sits up. Only Veronica sees her)
HEATHER CHANDLER
No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.
No one gets her insecurity.
I am more than shoulder pads and makeup.
No one sees the me inside of me.
[Spoken] Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply.
J.D.
Keep going. This has to be good enough to fool the cops.
(Two Policemen, McCord and Milner, investigate the crime scene)
MCCORD
Whoa! Is it murder?
MILNER
No, look. Here's a suicide note.
VERONICA, HEATHER, COPS
"They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique,
They wouldn't dare look in my eyes.
But just underneath was a terrified girl
who clings to her pillow and cries!
My looks were just like prison bars;
they've left me a myriad of scars."
HEATHER CHANDLER
"Myriad." Nice.
(The COPS hand the suicide note to Principal Gowan)
VERONICA, HEATHER, COPS
"No one thinks a pretty girl has substance. That's the curse of popularity."
(Gowan reads the note aloud)
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
"I am more than just a source of handjobs."
VERONICA, HEATHER, GOWAN, COPS
"No one sees the me inside of me."
(The COPS exit. GOWAN joins FLEMING, RIPPER and some FACULTY)
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
[Spoken] Heather Chandler is not your everyday suicide.
COACH RIPPER
You should cancel classes.
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
No way, Coach.
I send the kids home before lunch and the switchboard'll light up like a Christmas tree.
MS. FLEMING
Out children are dying.
I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria and just talk. And feel. Together.
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
Thank you, Ms. Fleming. Call me when the shuttle lands.
MS. FLEMING
I'm telling you we all misjudged Heather Chandler.
This is the loveliest suicide not I've ever read.
MS. FLEMING & HEATHER CHANDLER
"Box up my clothing for Goodwill,
and give the poor my Nordic Track.
Donate my car to crippled kids,
or to those ghetto moms on crack.
Give them my hats and my CDs,
my pumps and my flats, my three TVs!"
HEATHER CHANDLER, FACULTY
"No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings;
but I weep for all I failed to be.
Maybe I can help the world by leaving;
Maybe that the me inside of me."
PRINCIPAL GOWAN
Aw, hell. Long weekend for everybody!
(Teachers cheer, as do arriving students)
MS. FLEMING
Not so fast, kids. They're refueling the buses, which gives us a solid half-hour of healing.
I've mimeographed copies of the suicide note so you can feel Heather's anguish.
HEATHER MCNAMARA
I never knew about her pain.
MS. FLEMING
Go on!
HIPSTER DORK
Her life had hit a rocky patch.
MS. FLEMING
Feel!
YOUNG REPUBLICANETTE
Deep down she wasn't cruel or vain -
MS. FLEMING
Heal!
KIDS
She didn't mean to be such a snatch!
MS. FLEMING
Veronica, you're very quiet. What's on your mind.
VERONICA
Uh, maybe Heather realized that in order to be happy she had to give up her power.
And the only way to do that was... death.
MS. FLEMING
My God.
Look what we've done.
We're breaking through!
Heather would be so proud of you!
KIDS
And you! And you! And you! And you!
EVERYBODY
No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you...
NEW WAVE GIRL
Heather touching me...
EVERYBODY
But she's made us better than we were.
Heather's dead, but she will live inside me, and I'll be the me inside of her...
HEATHER CHANDLER
Holy crap! This is awesome!
EVERYBODY
Heather cried, our sins fell on her shoulders!
HEATHER CHANDLER
Jesus Christ!
EVERYBODY
Heather died, so we could all be free!
HEATHER CHANDLER
I'm bigger than John Lennon!
KIDS
(Variously)
Heather's gone, but she will live forever!
She's the dove that sings outside my window!
She's the twin from whom
I'm separated!
She's the horse I never got for Christmas!
EVERYBODY
Heather sees the me inside of me!
Heather is the me inside of me!
Inside of... me!
Хизер Чендлер
Я больше, чем Джон Леннон!
ДЕТИ
(По -разному)
Хизер ушла, но она будет жить вечно!
Она голубь, который поет за моим окном!
Она близнец, от которого
Я отделен!
Она лошадь, которую я никогда не получил на Рождество!
ВСЕ
Хизер видит меня внутри меня!
Хизер - это я внутри меня!
Внутри меня!
Я больше, чем Джон Леннон!
ДЕТИ
(По -разному)
Хизер ушла, но она будет жить вечно!
Она голубь, который поет за моим окном!
Она близнец, от которого
Я отделен!
Она лошадь, которую я никогда не получил на Рождество!
ВСЕ
Хизер видит меня внутри меня!
Хизер - это я внутри меня!
Внутри меня!
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