KillaGram - Ремонт
текст песни

Evening, Friday, end of the work week
Vova, as usual, was glued to the TV,
Switching channels leisurely
Remote control in one hand, beer bottle in the other
Nobody nags, the wife doesn’t grumble
When your friend's wife is with you, there is silence at home
When she's gone for at least half an hour,
You can walk around the house in your underpants
You can just lie quietly
You can finally scratch your balls
You can throw your socks anywhere
You can watch boxing on TV
He caught himself thinking overnight
Or maybe this is happiness?A?
Vova broke into a blissful smile
The hand reached for the second bottle
The lid flew off to the side with a popping sound.
White smoke, Vova takes a sip
Cheerful, well-fed, a little drunk
But everything ends with the arrival of Yana
Hana!There will be war!
If, if, if, if, if the wife is Satan!
Yana is a wife, for those who are not in the know
Yana is a really evil demon
Instead of "hello, darling", instead of "hello"
Splashes shit from his filthy mouth
How you've already got me, ghoul!
I scattered my socks all over the apartment again!
You're walking around in your underpants again, you little brat!
And finally turn off this box of yours!
That guy over there at Lyudka’s is always busy
When he comes home from work, he’s sawing and drilling something.
You just hammer in a nail and it’s crooked
Just sit on the couch and drink beer!
You're as useless as a fucking dead person!
Just shit and eat buckets!
If only they cooked, washed and ironed you
No, Vova!That's it!Enough!
It will soon be the fourth year
How have we not had any renovations done in our hall!
In short, get ready: tomorrow we will be with you
Let's go to the market to buy wallpaper
Hana!There will be war!
If, if, if, if, if the wife is Satan!
In short, let's go spend your cash
Bought wallpaper, brushes, rollers
We bought spatulas, putty, glue
Paint for ceilings and radiators
While we walked around the market, word by word
Vova learned a lot more about himself
There is no more money, no mood either
Haha, hello, fun weekend!
We came home and work began to boil
Yana is screaming into a bullhorn, Vova is sweating
While they were wallpapering the room,
They created a scandal and had a big fight
Yana called Vova fifty times
A sheep and a stupid moron
Vova, in turn, called Yana
A blunt-nosed, crooked-armed monkey
And so for two days with screams and scandals
Cosmetic renovation was nearing completion
Vova swept the floor, cleaned the tools
Yana soaked her brushes in gasoline
I rinsed it once, then again
And I poured all this chacha into the toilet
And all so proud, pleased with herself
She moved into the living room to admire the new wallpaper.
Vova, on the contrary, stay away from this fool
Hidden in the toilet to take a smoke break
The last thing my wife heard
A match was struck, a clap - and silence
The siren screams in the night
They go, they go, they go, they go, the doctors go to call
The call came to the dispatcher's console
At approximately 11:45 p.m.
Women's squeals were heard from the receiver
About a husband who shows no signs of life
And somewhere around one o'clock in the morning
The ambulance has arrived
Yana opened the door, and immediately in the hallway
The smell of burning leather filled my nose.
We came in and immediately got down to business
Knocked down the toilet door to get to the body
We looked inside, and there was a picture
A man lies unconscious on the floor
The doctors looked at Vova and puzzled
What actually happened here?
The case, of course, cannot be called simple.
Panties down, smoke coming out of my ass
Broken tiles on the floor are obvious
Indicative of traumatic brain injury
To revive the injured man
Turned over on your back
And documented for complete batch
Burn of testicles and penis
Yes!A kind of smoked still life
At the end of the renovation