Christine Lavin - viagra in the water
текст песни

An uplifting song.

Just outside of Johnson city on a dark and twisting road,
In a Kenworth 18-wheeler, with a heavy shifting load.
He was pushing through to Binghamton, though the hour was getting late,
Pfizer's finest on a mission to the pharmacy's upstate,
He was on a holy mission, there were men who couldn't wait.
It was 20,000 pounds.... of Viagra!

He clocked 700 miles since he climbed into the rig,
Just another 25 or so would finish up that gig,
But the trailer hit an oil slick and down the hill did fly, Oh my!
Till it landed at the bottom in the town's water supply.
It was instant rigor mortis. What a hard way to die.

Save your son's,
Shield your daughters,
There's Viagra,
In the waters.

All over Johnson City, people rising with the dawn.
They drank their morning coffee, took their showers, watered lawns.
And who could have predicted all the changes up ahead,
Men were getting up for work, and heading back to bed.
So many called in sick, you would have thought a virus spread.

Down at the Porthouse coffee shop, they stared in disbelief,
As a pack of thirsty lawyer's started filling out their briefs.
But at the local college, young men appeared much smarter.
No chromosomal mystery, they simply studied harder.
Now 'Water on the Rocks' is the latest party starter.

Save your son's,
Shield your daughters,
There's Viagra,
In the waters.

It gets much worse.

The Johnson City firemen cursed their wretched luck.
They could not get their fire hoses wound back on the truck.
Sprinkling holy water, at a funeral, Father Ryan said... Oh you know what he said?
"I know I've saved your soul, but I've never raised the dead.
Will a couple strong men help me now to close the casket bed?"

This next verse is so hard to get through.

Old man Weisburg took the shower of his life.
Then he marched into the kitchen and he called out to his wife.
She knew something was up as he stood naked at the table,
Holding two cups of coffee and a half a dozen bagels,
It'd had been at least a decade since the last time he was able.

Save your son's,
Shield your daughters,
There's Viagra,
In the waters.

Can you handle more?

Believers seeking miracles, the Pilgrims came in hordes
The waters of Viagra grew more popular than Lourdes
The clergy quotes scripture, but they found it hard to sell,
That those who chose to be anointed were pointed straight to hell.
Despite the dire warnings the crowds began to... swell.

Some hardened politicians came into town one day,
With their permits and their pipelines pumped the waters all away.
From the heart of Johnson City, rose the mournful cry of men.
But the women knew another truck was comin' through again!
Don't worry there's a truck next week!
We'll spread the oil again.

Save your son's,
Shield your daughters,
There's Viagra,
In the waters.

Sing along, it's not so hard!

Save your son's,
Shield your daughters,
There's Viagra,
In the waters.